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Forgiveness...Where you were, where you are, and where you would wish to be...

     Forgiveness is defined as giving up the desire to punish, and letting go of resentments towards others.  Forgiveness is never an easy process; but when it is yourself that needs to be forgiven, the steps can become heavy.  Just getting to a place of willingness takes a level of courage that can seem untouchable and out of reach.  We’ve heard stories of people forgiving people who have inflicted abuse and trauma barely lived through.  Forgiving abandonment, disrespect and emotional wounds that leave deep scars is possible as we have seen.  But, what about when we abandon ourselves?  Getting lost in the needs or controlling demands of another person, allowing ourselves to become detached from our own needs to suit another person? Watching our lives pass by as we walk away into the life that is dictated by another person is excruciating.  

     The true warrior faces the truth and releases blame on the other person, knowing that it was their choice to forget themselves and give in to the pull of another.  Manipulation is not force, free will and choice still exists.  Was keeping peace really worth it?  Was it easier to go along to avoid a cold shoulder?  Is it easier to just adapt to a life that you don’t enjoy?  Is there hope that the other person will one day realize that you have sacrificed and offer to take an interest in your choices?  Most likely not!  

     People will treat us as we allow them to, they will be a mirror to what we accept, and they will mirror back to us the worth that we see ourselves.  Be kind to yourself, this takes time and the time it takes is worth it.  

Here is a quick practice that I recommend to clients that I follow each day.… I call it “My Daily Five”  It is just stating the words to yourself, in a mirror, while your eyes are closed or writing them down.  It’s all up to what you feel able or compelled to do!

When you wake up:

Think of:

Five things you love about yourself.

Five things you are grateful for. 

Five things you did right yesterday.

Five things that you love to do

Five things you will do today that will bring you peace.

Tips to make this practice work:

Keep it simple, you’re not graded on the material.  Speak honestly from your heart.  The purpose is to set your mind on what you are doing right, what you love yourself for and what you can do to stay in that mindset.  The more you love yourself, the more love you will feel, the more love you feel, the more love you will have to give.  Keep yourself full of love and you will never feel depleted!

***If you’re feeling inspired...you can add the practice to your bedtime also***

I Love YOU,

  Love Tammy

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